How To Tell Your Therapist Something Hard
Therapy is something that can be very beneficial when it comes to our mental health.
It’s a chance for us to talk about things we might not normally feel comfortable talking about, and it’s also a way of getting help with those things.
However, sometimes in therapy, you may find yourself having to say something difficult or uncomfortable.
Though you might be worried about how to tell your therapist something hard, it is important to remember that therapists are trained to listen to the things you find hard to discuss. Regardless of this, it can still be daunting.
So if you want to know how to tell your therapist something hard, then you’ve come to the right place.
In this guide, we are going to look at some tips you can follow that will allow you to feel more comfortable about opening up about something hard to your therapist.
Write It Down
It’s really easy to forget what you wanted to say to your therapist, so writing down exactly what you want to say beforehand can make sure that you don’t forget anything.
Writing down your thoughts can also help you think through them better.
You could even write out a few different ways of saying what you want to say, so you have options. This can help you feel less stressed and more confident about telling your therapist something hard.
Writing down what you want to say will also help you to feel more prepared and ready to tell your therapist something you find hard.
It ensures that you will also be able to tell it clearly as it will all be written down for you to check on if you get flustered.
You should always try to go slowly when talking to your therapist. When you’re nervous, it can be tempting to rush into things, but this isn’t usually a good idea.
If you do start to feel anxious, take a deep breath and remind yourself that your therapist wants to hear from you. Remembering that they are there to help you can give you confidence.
Going slowly means you won’t need to worry about rushing over things, which can leave you feeling more relaxed.
Going slowly also means allowing yourself time to get to what you want to tell your therapist. This might mean that you may not get to say everything you want to say in one session about the thing that is hard for you to talk about.
This is completely fine. You should take things at your own pace. This ensures you start to build up to saying the thing that is hard for you to talk about, so by the time you get to that topic you feel more comfortable and confident.
Let Your Therapist Lead The Way
When it comes to talking about something that is hard to discuss, sometimes it is best for you to let your therapist lead the way. If you feel like you want to speak but don’t know how, then wait until your therapist asks you questions.
This allows you to feel more comfortable speaking without worrying too much about what you want to say. It also gives you an opportunity to practice what you want to say and work out any problems with your words.
You can also ask your therapist if they would prefer that you speak first or second. This can make it easier for you to open up to your therapist about something hard to talk about.
If you decide to speak first, then your therapist can listen to you and respond appropriately.
They can then ask you questions that help them understand what you want to say better. This makes it easier for you to talk about what you want to talk about because you already know what you want to say well enough.
If you choose to speak second, then your therapist can answer your questions and explain things to you. This helps you feel more confident about what you want to tell them.
It also lets you know whether they understood what you were trying to say.
If you want to speak about something that is hard for you, remember that your therapist is there to support you. They are there to help you overcome whatever challenges you face. Don’t forget that!
Let Your Therapist Know This Is Hard For You
Another way to discuss something that is a little harder to talk about and make it easier on you is to tell your therapist.
Alerting your therapist that the topic you want to discuss is challenging for you to talk about not only prepares your therapist but it can prepare you.
This technique ensures that you are not interrupted and that you have the time to say the things you want to discuss. Also it means that you’ve done some of the hard part already.
You’ve openly admitted that this topic is tricky and you want to discuss it with your therapist.
How Do I Know If My Therapist Will Understand?
Therapists are trained to listen and they have the skills to support you through this process. They should always be ready to hear what you have to say, even if it doesn’t make sense at first.
If you’re feeling upset, frustrated, anxious, or confused, don’t worry – just keep talking!
How Can I Get Through The Topic With Breaking Down?
Sometimes when a topic is hard to discuss because you were deeply hurt by it, you might find yourself on the verge of tears when talking about it.
When it comes to not breaking down, the first thing to do is accept that it is completely fine for you to get upset when talking about something hard.
If you want to get through the topic more smoothly without breaking down, then it might be a good idea to take your time and take breaks when you need them.
Allow yourself to feel your emotions rather than blocking them out.
It might also help to have what you are going to say prepared so you don’t feel caught off-guard by the topic.
It’s important to note that while we all go through difficult times in our lives, therapy isn’t always easy. Sometimes it takes a lot of work to get through tough topics.
However, if you are working with a therapist who listens carefully and supports you, then you will be able to get through these difficult conversations.
We hope that you have found these tips helpful in terms of helping you to discuss hard topics with your therapist. Please share this article with others if you found it helpful. Thank you for reading!
Author: Michelle Landeros, LMFT
Michelle Landeros is a Licensed Marriage Family Therapist (LMFT). She is passionate about helping individuals, couples and families thrive.
Last updated: September 24, 2023