How to Heal Codependency
Steps to Building Healthy Relationships
Think of it like this: a healthy relationship is like a hearty salad – full of color, variety, and balance. But a codependent relationship? It’s more like a soggy sandwich sitting out for way too long.
Healing from codependency isn’t only about leveling up your relationships. Nope, it’s also like hitting the jackpot for your mental health! It’s all about making yourself the star of the show and treating yourself to some major self-care. The big question is…
How Do I Know I’m Codependent?
When you’re codependent, you’re so focused on other people’s feelings that you lose touch with your own. It’s like you’re always on an emotional rollercoaster, but you’re not the one in the driver’s seat.
The good news is that you can recover from codependency. However, you must break those codependent behavior patterns and build healthy relationship muscles. Read on as we navigate this journey toward a happier, healthier you. It’s like hitting the gym for your emotional and physical health.
Recognizing the signs of codependency.
Before tackling codependency head-on, we gotta spot the signs, right? It’s kinda like playing detective in your own life, and let me tell you, it can be super eye-opening.
Lack of Boundaries
First up, we have boundaries. Or, well, the lack thereof. Those healthy boundaries vanish into thin air in a codependent relationship. You know, like when you’re constantly putting someone else’s needs above your very own needs, even when it’s not the best for you.
Then there’s the whole validation thing. You always seek a gold star or a pat from others. It can be tough on your own health and self-esteem and is not the recipe for a healthy relationship.
Fear of Abandonment
Oh, and let’s not forget about the fear of abandonment. If you’re always worrying that someone’s gonna leave you high and dry, it can make you do some pretty wild things just to keep them around. Like, seriously, who needs that kind of stress?
You know, that thing where you’re doing cartwheels nonstop to keep someone else smiling? Just sayin’! Here’s the real deal: in a good, “grown-up relationship,” both folks should be able to find their own interests and happiness, too.
Self-care and self-worth situation
Lastly, there’s the whole self-care and self-worth situation. When you’re stuck in codependent relationships, it’s easy to forget about taking care of yourself and recognizing your value. But guess what? You deserve to feel good, inside and out!
Now that we know the signs, it’s time to use codependency recovery signs to set our recovery goals. Yes, it’s possible to rebuild your self-esteem, find your own feelings again, and create healthy boundaries. You’ve got this!
Ways to Overcome Codependency
Seek Professional Help
Let’s face it, dealing with codependency can feel like trying to untangle a giant ball of yarn, and sometimes you need a helping hand.
First, you might want to find a therapist or counselor who’s a pro at dealing with relationship issues and with codependency. The therapist will help you put yourself first and focus on your needs, which is important for building healthy romantic relationships.
You should look into group therapy or support groups, too. It’s like having your very own cheerleading squad who just gets you, you know? Plus, it’s an awesome way to lift your spirits and tackle those codependent tendencies and quirks.
The internet is jam-packed with stuff to help you explore your passions, figure out the whole dysfunctional family thing, and kick off some healthy habits. Additionally, don’t forget the self-help books and online goodies! It’s basically like having a GPS for your healing journey.
We’ve covered finding help, but let’s dive into another super important step: developing self-awareness. This stage involves getting to know yourself better and understanding what’s going on inside that beautiful brain of yours.
First, you’ll want to play a detective again and identify those codependent behaviors. It’s like putting together a puzzle of your actions; peer support from family members, group therapy, or a close friend can help.
Next, it’s time to dig deep and determine your codependency’s root causes. Sometimes, it’s got a lot to do with family members or past experiences.
Sometimes stuff from our past plays a big part in our lives today. Maybe you had a relative who battled addiction, and groups like Alcoholics Anonymous were super involved in your parents’ world.
And while we’re on the topic of the past, it’s important to think back on your previous relationships, too. It’s kinda like hopping in a time machine and figuring out what clicked, what fizzled, and what changes you can make to take better care of yourself.
The self-awareness journey can be a bit of a rollercoaster, especially if you’re a pro at being hard on yourself. But listen up: you gotta show yourself some kindness and compassion, just like you would for your bestie or your fam.
Always remember self-awareness is the secret sauce for tackling codependency. So take the plunge, get up close and personal with yourself, and start laying the groundwork for a happier, healthier version of yourself!
Establish Healthy Boundaries
First off, you gotta learn the magic word: “no.” Sounds simple, right? But sometimes, saying “no” can feel like trying to lift a boulder. It’s all about knowing when to put your foot down, even if it’s just to say no to unsolicited advice or take on more than you can handle.
Next up, communication is key! It’s time to put those feelings and needs out loud and clear. It might feel a little scary, but trust us; it’s way better than keeping everything bottled up. Plus, it helps prevent you from feeling responsible for other people’s happiness.
Prioritize your well-being
And last but not least, you’ve gotta prioritize your emotional well being-being. This means putting yourself first, and it can take many forms. Maybe you need to step back from relationships that make you feel like you’re always on the hook for someone else’s actions. Or, perhaps it’s time to stop taking things personally and give yourself some space to breathe.
Don’t forget; healthy boundaries are like the building blocks for better adult relationships, and they can help break that codependency cycle passed down from one generation to the next. And if you’re feeling stuck, don’t forget that professional help is always an option to guide you through the process.
Cultivate Self-compassion and Self-love.
First up, let’s chat about self-care routines. Whether going for a walk, taking a bubble bath, or just curling up with a good book, it’s all about taking control and prioritizing your well-being. It’s like setting boundaries with yourself and making time for the things that make you feel good.
Take a moment to acknowledge and celebrate all your achievements. It’s like giving yourself a high-five for all the changes you’re making and the healing. You’re doing great!
Work on your image
And finally, it’s time to work on that self-image. You know, the way you see yourself and how you feel about the person you are. Developing a positive self-image is like putting on a fresh pair of glasses that help you see the world in a new light.
Remember, cultivating self-compassion and self-love is an important part of your recovery process. It’s like giving yourself the support you’ve always wanted. So, even when you feel stuck, just know you’ve got this and can set healthy boundaries and overcome codependent behaviors.
The healing journey from codependency is personal; sometimes, we all need extra support to guide us. If you’re ready to take that next step and start building a happier, healthier you, why not consider booking a therapy session? It’s a fantastic way to get tailored advice and guidance from a professional who understands your unique struggles and goals.
You’ve got this, and we believe in you! Don’t wait any longer – take charge of your life and give yourself the gift of healing. Reach out to a therapist today and pave the way toward a brighter, more fulfilled future.
Author: Michelle Landeros, LMFT
Michelle Landeros is a Licensed Marriage Family Therapist (LMFT). She is passionate about helping individuals, couples and families thrive.
Last updated: May 29, 2023