How To Talk About Trauma In Therapy
Cracking Open the Trauma Box: How to Talk About the Tough Stuff in Therapy
Let’s face it, opening up to someone can feel like trying to crack open a stubborn pistachio shell. Now, imagine doing that in therapy, where you’re supposed to spill your guts about the really heavy stuff. Yikes! But here’s the thing: talking about trauma, as scary as it is, can be the key to unlocking a whole new you.
Trauma: The Invisible Backpack We All Carry
Trauma isn’t just a fancy word therapists throw around. It’s like an emotional bruise that doesn’t fade. But here’s the kicker: trauma is as unique as your fingerprint. What rocks your world might barely cause a ripple for someone else.
Think of trauma as the uninvited guest at life’s party. It could crash in when you witness something awful, survive an attack, endure a toxic relationship, or lose someone you love. But that’s just scratching the surface. Trauma doesn’t play by the rules – it can show up in countless ways.
Here’s the golden rule: all trauma is valid. Whether you’re traumatized by witnessing a tragedy or by being bullied, your experience matters. Period.
Why Talking About Trauma Feels Like Pulling Teeth
Opening up about trauma? It’s like voluntarily stepping onto an emotional rollercoaster. You’re not just sharing a story; you’re reopening old wounds and making yourself vulnerable. It’s scary stuff!
Many of us have become pros at shoving that pain deep down. But here’s the thing: it’s like trying to hold a beach ball underwater. Eventually, it’s gonna pop up, and probably at the worst possible moment.
Speaking up is tough, but it’s the only way to truly heal. Take it slow, but remember: only by letting it out can you truly grow.
Spotting Trauma: It’s Not Always Obvious
Sometimes, trauma is sneaky. It can hide for years, playing tricks on your mind and body. But there are some telltale signs to watch out for:
- Your focus is all over the place
- Sleep becomes your enemy
- Anxiety is your new BFF
- You’d rather hide from the world
- Your moods swing like a pendulum
If you’re nodding along to these, it might be time to consider that trauma could be at play.
The Art of Trauma Talk
Talking about trauma isn’t just about spilling the beans to your therapist. It’s about facing a tidal wave of emotions you didn’t even know were there. You might feel angry, hurt, nervous, or – surprise! – relieved and refreshed.
There’s no crystal ball to predict how you’ll feel, but eventually, those feelings will surface. So, how do you navigate this emotional minefield with your therapist?
Get Your Ducks in a Row
Feeling tongue-tied at the thought of opening up? Here’s a pro tip: prep work is your friend.
Grab a pen and paper (yes, old school!) and start jotting down your thoughts and feelings. Write about the traumatic event, how it made you feel, what you wish you could change. Dream a little – what do you hope to achieve from therapy? How does this trauma mess with your daily life? Are you happy?
This isn’t just busywork. You’re training yourself to open up. And hey, if talking feels too much, you can always hand this note to your therapist. It’s like a cheat code for getting started.
Emotions: Let ‘Em Rip
If diving into the nitty-gritty of your trauma feels like too much, start with your feelings. Talk about how you felt during the event, how it makes you feel now, and how you want to feel in the future.
And don’t forget to tell your therapist how you’re feeling about therapy itself. Embarrassed? Ashamed? Anxious? Laying it all out helps your therapist understand you better and lets you set the pace.
Slow and Steady Wins the Race
Remember, healing from trauma isn’t a sprint; it’s a marathon. There’s no finish line you have to cross by a certain time. Your therapist isn’t holding a stopwatch, so don’t feel pressured to spill everything at once.
Just showing up to therapy is a win. If you start talking about your trauma and it becomes too much, it’s okay to hit the pause button. Your therapist will understand and can switch gears or wrap up the session.
You’re in the driver’s seat here. Therapy is about you and your wellbeing. It’s supposed to be a gradual process. Your therapist is there to listen, not to rush. You’ve got the control.
Wrapping It Up: Your Trauma, Your Pace
Trauma is like a chameleon – it affects everyone differently and can be caused by just about anything. If you’re carrying trauma, therapy can be a lifeline, but it’s not something to fear.
In therapy, you’re the boss. There’s no need to rush into talking about the heavy stuff. Build a rapport with your therapist, prepare yourself, and when you’re ready, you can start to unpack that trauma.
Remember, healing is a journey, not a destination. Take it one step at a time, and before you know it, you’ll be on your way to a lighter, brighter you.
Author: Michelle Landeros, LMFT
Michelle Landeros is a Licensed Marriage Family Therapist (LMFT). She is passionate about helping individuals, couples and families thrive.