How To Help Someone Who’s Dissociating
Helping someone who’s dissociating is like trying to catch a cloud – tricky, but not impossible.
Imagine your friend suddenly seems like they’re on another planet, eyes glazed over, not really “there.”
That’s dissociation, and it’s more common than you might think.
I’ve been there, folks.
I once had a buddy zone out mid-conversation, looking like he’d just seen a ghost.
It was scary, but I learned how to help.
And now, I’m here to share those secrets with you.
Did you know that about 2% of people in the USA deal with some form of dissociative disorder?
That’s like one person in every 50!
And get this – 1% have Dissociative Identity Disorder (DID).
That’s a whole lot of folks needing our understanding and support.
In this guide, you’ll learn how to spot when someone’s dissociating, what it feels like for them, and most importantly, how to lend a helping hand.
Whether you’re a friend, family member, or just a kind stranger, these tips could make a world of difference to someone in need.
So, buckle up!
By the end of this read, you’ll be equipped with the knowledge and tools to be a real-life superhero for someone experiencing dissociation.
Let’s dive in and learn how to bring people back to earth, shall we?
Dissociation: When Reality Takes a Coffee Break
Alright, let’s break it down.
Dissociation is like your brain deciding to take an unexpected vacation from reality.
It’s not just daydreaming or zoning out (though those are mild forms of dissociation).
We’re talking about a full-on mental getaway.
Here’s the scoop: sometimes, when life gets too overwhelming, your brain says, “Nope, I’m outta here!”
and checks out for a bit.
It’s like your mind’s personal “escape” button.
Now, anyone can dissociate occasionally.
Maybe you’ve driven home and realized you don’t remember the journey.
That’s a mild form of dissociation.
But for some folks, it’s a regular, uninvited guest in their lives.
About 2% of people in the USA have a dissociative disorder.
That’s like having two people in a group of 100 who regularly experience this mental vacation.
The most famous of these is Dissociative Identity Disorder (DID), which affects about 1% of the population.
That’s one in every hundred people!
But here’s the kicker: dissociation can also show up as a symptom in other mental health conditions.
It’s like the chameleon of the mental health world, popping up in PTSD, bipolar disorder, and even depression.
So, why should you care?
Well, chances are you know someone who experiences this, even if they’ve never talked about it.
And knowing how to help could make you their real-life superhero.
For those interested in understanding other complex relationship dynamics, reading about how to tell if your partner is lying about cheating can provide further insight.
Spotting the Signs: Is Someone Dissociating?
Okay, so how do you know if someone’s taking an unplanned mental vacation?
It’s not like they turn blue or sprout antennas.
But there are some telltale signs to watch out for:
The Thousand-Yard Stare
Ever seen someone look like they’re trying to see through walls?
That’s what we’re talking about here.
Their eyes might look glazed over, like they’re watching a really boring movie that only they can see.
I once saw a friend get this look during a party.
One minute we were chatting, the next he was staring into space like he’d just discovered the meaning of life.
Spoiler alert: he hadn’t.
He was dissociating.
The Human Statue Act
When someone’s dissociating, they might suddenly become as still as a statue.
It’s like someone hit their pause button.
They might stop mid-sentence or freeze with a fork halfway to their mouth.
It’s as if their body is there, but their mind has left the building.
The “What Just Happened?” Moment
Ever had a conversation with someone who seemed to forget what you were talking about every other sentence?
That could be dissociation at work.
They might ask you to repeat things a lot, or suddenly change the subject without realizing it.
It’s like their brain is playing a game of mental hopscotch.
The Emotional Flatline
During a dissociative episode, emotions can take a vacation too.
The person might not react to things that would normally make them laugh or cry.
I once told a friend who was dissociating that I’d won the lottery.
No reaction.
Then I said I’d lost all my money.
Still nothing.
It was like talking to a very lifelike robot.
Remember, these signs don’t always mean someone’s dissociating.
But if you notice a combination of these, especially in someone you know well, it might be time to lend a helping hand.
Your Dissociation First-Aid Kit: How to Help
Alright, superhero-in-training, you’ve spotted someone who might be dissociating.
What now?
Don’t panic!
Here’s your step-by-step guide to helping someone find their way back to reality:
1. **Safety First!**
If they’re in a dangerous spot (like near a busy road), gently guide them to a safer place.
It’s like being a crossing guard for their mind.
2. **Take a Breather**
Encourage them to take a break.
Say something like, “Hey, let’s sit down for a minute.”
It’s like calling a time-out in the game of life.
3. **Ground Control to Major Tom**
Try some grounding techniques.
Ask them to name five things they can see, four they can touch, three they can hear, two they can smell, and one they can taste.
It’s like playing “I Spy” with their senses.
4. **Breathe In, Breathe Out**
Guide them through some deep breathing exercises.
In through the nose, out through the mouth.
It’s like giving their mind a oxygen mask.
5. **Don’t Play Fact-Checker**
If they’re experiencing something that’s not real to you, don’t argue.
Instead, show empathy.
Say something like, “That sounds scary.
But you’re safe here with me.”
It’s like being their emotional support animal.
6. **Patience is a Virtue**
Remember, they can’t just snap out of it.
It might take time.
Be patient and supportive.
It’s like waiting for a flower to bloom – you can’t rush it.
7. **After the Storm**
Once they’re back, give them time to adjust.
Offer support, avoid triggers, and listen if they want to talk.
It’s like helping someone find their land legs after a long sea voyage.
Remember, everyone’s different.
What works for one person might not work for another.
It’s all about being patient, kind, and understanding.
And sometimes, the best thing you can do is just be there.
For more insights on self-help techniques, you might find what to say when you talk to yourself helpful.
Wrapping It Up: Your Dissociation Helper Badge
Congratulations!
You’ve just completed Dissociation Helper 101.
You’re now equipped with the knowledge to spot when someone’s mind has decided to take an impromptu vacation and how to help them find their way back.
Remember, dissociation isn’t just someone being spacey or forgetful.
It’s a real mental health experience that affects millions of people.
By understanding it better, you’re already making the world a more compassionate place.
Here’s the thing: you might never know when this knowledge will come in handy.
It could be a friend, a family member, or even a stranger on the bus.
But when the moment comes, you’ll be ready to step up and be that real-life superhero.
So go forth, armed with your new understanding and compassion.
You’ve got the power to make a real difference in someone’s life.
And who knows?
One day, you might just be the anchor that helps someone find their way back to reality.
Remember, caring for others, whether they’re dissociating or just having a rough day, is one of the most important things we can do as humans.
You’ve got this!
Author: Michelle Landeros, LMFT
Michelle Landeros is a Licensed Marriage Family Therapist (LMFT). She is passionate about helping individuals, couples and families thrive.