How to Tell If Your Partner Is Lying About Cheating

Discovering A Lying Partner
Infidelity is among the most painful and complicated relationship issues affecting countless couples worldwide. Research shows that 25% of married couples report having experienced infidelity at some point in their relationship.
The aftermath of infidelity can be a long and challenging road, and many couples struggle to find a way forward. As a professional therapist, I have worked with many clients who have experienced the trauma of infidelity. In my practice, I have seen firsthand how infidelity can shatter the trust and intimacy essential (sex life) of a healthy relationship.
However, I have also seen that healing is possible. With the right support and tools, couples can work through the pain of infidelity and rebuild a stronger and more resilient relationship. Read on as I answered the question on how to tell if your partner is lying about cheating and some of the frequently asked questions from couples experiencing such trauma.
How Do You Find out If Your Partner Is Lying About Cheating?
The suspicions of a partner cheating can be very distressing for those in romantic relationships. The search for the truth can be filled with uncertainty and anxiety.
To begin with, it’s important to note that it’s not always easy to tell if someone is lying. It’s a complex human behavior that involves multiple factors, including eye contact and body language.
Regarding eye contact, it’s believed that a lying spouse may avoid eye contact altogether, or their eye movements may seem unnatural or inconsistent. It’s also possible that someone lying may make a concerted effort to maintain eye contact to appear convincing. However, maintaining eye contact does not necessarily mean someone is telling the truth.
Similarly, body language can be a useful indicator, but it’s not foolproof. When a partner is lying, they may fidget, avoid physical contact, or display other signs of nervousness. It’s also possible that someone telling the truth may exhibit these behaviors due to other reasons, such as anxiety or stress.
Whatever the case is, accusing a partner of cheating without concrete evidence can damage the relationship. It’s crucial to approach the situation with caution and sensitivity.
While there is no surefire way to tell if a partner is lying about cheating, seeking professional help from a therapist can provide guidance and support for navigating these challenging circumstances.
A therapist can help individuals work through their feelings and develop a plan of action grounded in communication and trust-building rather than accusations and suspicion.
How Do You Get Someone to Admit They Cheated?
Depending on the specific circumstances, several ways exist to approach the situation.
First, if you feel that your partner is cheating on you, it’s essential to trust your intuition. Although it may not always be accurate, your gut feeling can indicate something is wrong in the relationship.
If you suspect your partner is lying or cheating, you can start by paying attention to their physical reactions and excessive eye contact. These signs can give you a clue if they’re hiding something.
You can also observe your partner’s speech, such as hesitations, pauses, or contradictions. Sometimes, lying people have difficulty keeping their stories straight, and their words may not match their actions. If you notice this behavior, you can try to ask specific questions and see if they become defensive or avoid answering.
If you confront your spouse about cheating, a cheating partner may feel guilty and try to deny it by telling white lies or making excuses. In this case, it is essential to stay calm and avoid accusing them without evidence.
What To Do If Your Partner Is Lying About Cheating?
Discovering that your partner is lying about cheating can be a painful and difficult experience. Here are some things you can do if you find yourself in this situation:
Take Time to Process Your Emotions
Finding out that your partner has lied to you about cheating can be an incredibly emotional experience. It’s essential to take the time to process your feelings and decide what you want to do next. You may want to talk to a trusted friend or therapist to help you work through your emotions.
Talk to Your Partner
Having an open and honest conversation is important if you want to work through the issue with your partner. Use “I” statements to express your feelings and avoid blaming or accusing your partner. Ask them to explain why they lied and what led to the cheating.
Set Boundaries
Setting clear boundaries to rebuild trust is important if you stay with your partner. This could include transparency with devices and social media, regular check-ins, or therapy.
Consider Therapy
Seeing a licensed therapist is important if you and your partner struggle to work through the issue independently. A therapist can help you navigate the complex emotions and dynamics involved in recovering from infidelity.
Decide What’s Best for You
You need to decide what’s best for you and your well-being. If you can’t rebuild trust with your partner, it may be necessary to end the relationship. It’s essential to prioritize your own needs and feelings in this situation.
When do I Break Up After Infidelity
This is a tricky and difficult puzzle. However, I approach the question of when to break up after infidelity with respect and sensitivity for each individual’s unique situation.
Infidelity can be an incredibly painful and traumatic experience, and there is no one-size-fits-all answer to whether a relationship should end. In my practice, I encourage clients to consider key factors when making this decision.
- First, I help clients explore their feelings and emotions related to infidelity. This may involve processing feelings of betrayal, anger, sadness, and grief. It’s important to work through these emotions before making any major decisions.
- Next, I help clients assess the level of commitment and trust in their relationship. This includes examining factors such as the history of the relationship, the level of transparency and communication between partners, and the willingness of both partners to make changes to rebuild trust.
If a client decides to stay in the relationship, I work with them to establish clear boundaries and expectations to prevent future infidelity. This may involve regular check-ins, increased transparency, and ongoing communication about feelings and needs.
On the other hand, if both partners tend to decide to end the relationship, I support them in navigating the separation process and rebuilding their life after the breakup.
This may involve developing coping strategies for dealing with the emotional fallout of infidelity, exploring new interests and relationships, and working through any residual feelings of anger or resentment.
As a therapist, I aim to provide clients with a safe and supportive space to explore their feelings and make informed decisions about their relationships. While infidelity can be a challenging and painful experience, it can also be an opportunity for growth, healing, and new beginnings.

Author: Michelle Landeros, LMFT
Michelle Landeros is a Licensed Marriage Family Therapist (LMFT). She is passionate about helping individuals, couples and families thrive.
Last updated: September 24, 2023