Why Therapy Doesn’t Work For Everyone?

Therapy isn’t always a magic fix for everyone’s problems.

Sure, talking to a pro about specific issues can be super helpful, guiding folks towards better emotional health. But let’s face it – therapy’s effectiveness varies from person to person, and some people just don’t click with it.

It can be a real bummer to see others turn their lives around through therapy or make big strides with their therapists, especially when you feel like you’re stuck in the mud.

But here’s the thing – if therapy isn’t your jam, that’s totally okay. It doesn’t mean there’s anything wrong with you. Therapy isn’t a one-size-fits-all solution.

There are tons of reasons why someone might not see the progress they’re hoping for with therapy.

This list pulls together different factors that might explain why counseling doesn’t work for everyone. If you spot something that sounds familiar, you can start to tackle these issues and look for other solutions or ways to tweak your therapy journey.

What’s Going On Under the Hood?

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Mental health stuff has a lot of hidden parts that can mess with how we think, act, and feel in certain situations.

Our behavior can get a bit wonky due to seeing things in a skewed way, which affects how we deal with others and how we see ourselves.

Because of this, folks with mental health issues might have a warped view of therapy that throws up roadblocks on the path to better mental health.

This could show up as aggression, anger, expecting too much, being impatient, being overly critical, and more. These kinds of behaviors can really color how you see therapy and its progress.

For example, someone with sky-high expectations might think that after a few weeks of therapy, their mental health issues will just vanish into thin air.

When that doesn’t happen, they might decide therapy is useless because their issues aren’t “fixed”.

The reality is that person might have started making progress on their mental health issues and found better ways to handle certain situations, but their skewed view of therapy made them throw in the towel because it didn’t match what they expected.

The same goes for folks who are super sensitive to criticism. A therapist should always offer suggestions and point out areas the client needs to work on to help their mental health.

But the client might see this as criticism and take it personally.

These are some reasons why people might see therapy as pointless or unhelpful – when sometimes, it can take weeks, months or even years before a client can really appreciate how far they’ve come since they started.

Personal Fears

We’re all scared of something, but some clients might have fears that are rooted in traumatic experiences or in underlying mental health stuff. For info on helping someone dealing with dissociation, which can be a response to trauma and fear, check out “How to Help Someone Who’s Dissociating”.

For instance, those who are afraid of being judged might avoid therapy or struggle with it because they feel like their therapist is judging them for their actions, thoughts or feelings.

Folks with rejection or attachment issues might not dig therapy because it involves being vulnerable with a stranger. Growing a bond over time in an intimate and personal setting can make them shut down and close off as a survival instinct to protect themselves.

This obviously puts a big damper on their progress, but it’s something they can control. That client might quit therapy altogether to avoid their fears, and those underlying fears and factors go on unaddressed.

This might make it seem like the therapy didn’t work when the client didn’t engage or stick with the sessions.

Not Clicking with the Therapist

It’s not fair to try and pin the blame on anyone for therapy not working for an individual but sometimes, if you’re struggling with therapy, the solution you might need is a change in therapist.

Maybe you feel like there’s a personality clash and you’re having a hard time connecting with your therapist, or you don’t vibe with the methods and approach the therapist is using to work on your personal issues.

This doesn’t mean therapy doesn’t work – it just means you need a different therapist.

Not all therapists are cut from the same cloth. Everyone has different approaches, some are better at dealing with certain traumas than others, and some just aren’t effective therapists.

You need to feel as comfy as possible during your therapy session and if the therapist isn’t meeting that need in any way, you’re totally within your rights to look elsewhere.

Sometimes, it can take a few tries before finding a therapist you really click with and this change can make a huge difference with your mental health.

Wrong Therapy Style

With therapy, there are multiple ways you can improve your mental health and paths you can take towards progress and success.

These paths are called ‘approaches’ and they relate to the methods the therapist uses during your therapy sessions.

The therapist will try out an approach but this approach might not be your cup of tea. It’s like how there are different ways to learn how to swim – you might be better at one method than another.

So, if you feel like your therapy isn’t working, have a chat with your therapist about their approach and see if there’s something else you can try.

They should stay professional and tailor their approach to suit you best, but remember – sometimes therapy does come with a challenge, but your therapist should give you encouragement, guidance, support and feedback to help you improve.

False Impressions

Therapy is often talked about and everyone’s eager to share their experiences. For some, it worked great but for others it might have been a dud.

Some might give you false impressions of therapy including that it doesn’t work, that therapists are mean, or that it’s super intimidating and scary.

Some might say that you should see improvements in your behavior and emotions within the first few sessions or first few months, or others might tell you it’ll take years and years before you start to feel better.

The key thing to remember when starting therapy is that your experience will be totally unique to everyone else’s.

What other people say worked or didn’t work for them may or may not apply to you – the only way you can find out if therapy is the best path for you is to give it a shot yourself.

False impressions that therapy is a sure-fire way to fix all your problems or that therapy is useless and a waste of time will impact your mindset going in.

Don’t set yourself up for disappointment or failure by refusing to engage or setting your expectations too high.

Other people might think they’re being helpful by sharing their opinions, but sometimes it can be more damaging than helpful. Keep in mind that everyone’s experience with therapy is different when talking about therapy with others.

Wrapping It Up

So those are a few main reasons why therapy doesn’t work for everyone.

A lot of people might go in thinking they’re wasting their time, and then refuse to cooperate to prove themselves right.

Some folks might have set their expectations too high and then decide that it doesn’t work for them because their mental health issues are still there after just a few sessions.

Sometimes, the reasons why you’re not making progress in your therapy could be out of your hands.

Maybe your therapist isn’t great or you just don’t gel, maybe the approach they’re using isn’t suited to your needs – or maybe you have some kind of trauma or fear that’s keeping you closed up and preventing you from engaging with your therapist.

As you can see, there are a bunch of reasons why therapy doesn’t always work for everyone.

Therapy is also a field of medicine that’s constantly evolving and every day we’re learning new ways to help people cope with their mental health.

So, while we definitely recommend giving therapy a try, don’t beat yourself up if you’re not seeing the results you want.

Sometimes it takes patience, other times a new therapist. Keep trying and we hope that you see the results you wanted soon.