What To Say To Someone Who Is Hurting Emotionally

Seeing someone you care about in emotional pain is tough. You want to help, but you’re worried about saying the wrong thing.

It’s a good idea to take a moment and think about what you want to say.

We’ve put together a list of things you should and shouldn’t say to someone who’s hurting emotionally. Remember, we’re all human, and it’s nice to have some peace of mind.

Who Are They To You?

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It’s important to think about your relationship with the person. Are they a close friend, a family member, or someone you don’t know as well? This can affect how you approach the conversation.

If you know them well, you’ll have a better idea of their personality and how they think. This can help you choose the right words at the right time.

For people you don’t know as well, like acquaintances or distant relatives, it might be good to ask questions to understand their situation better. But be careful not to seem nosy or make them feel worse.

What Are They Going Through?

How you talk to this person might depend on what they’re dealing with and how they might react to what you say.

We all know it’s like walking on eggshells when talking to someone in this situation, especially if they’re dealing with something new and raw. Remember to be kind and understanding.

If their pain is related to mental health, try to avoid clichés like “Things are going to get better” or “Cheer up”.

The best thing to do is listen carefully while they talk. Try not to say anything that might hurt their feelings, and focus on being positive.

If they’re dealing with the loss of a loved one or relative, your goal should be to comfort them. Listen actively to understand how they’re feeling, and let them know that things will get easier over time.

Body Language And Physical Affection

When going through a tough time, some people just need a good hug to know someone’s there for them.

Along with listening actively, some physical comfort can go a long way. It shows the person you’re not just there to hear them, but to help and support them.

Sometimes you can talk to someone and hold their hand if you see they’re getting emotional. It’s likely to happen, so be prepared for it.

Of course, don’t assume they want to be touched – people deal with emotional pain in different ways.

Sometimes people look for emotional responses from you to show that you care.

These empathetic responses are good ways to show you’re listening as best you can and that you understand what they’re saying. Again, empathetic responses are good to show you want to help.

Finding A Silver Lining

In some situations, you can try to show someone that what they’re feeling is temporary and that they’ll feel better soon.

Someone who’s upset might not be thinking clearly, so it can help to remind them that things will get easier. This is especially true if what they’re going through is sudden, like losing someone or going through a breakup.

Bad feelings can make it hard to see the good things that might be just around the corner. But be careful not to push someone too hard when trying to remind them of the positives.

Just because you might be feeling more optimistic doesn’t mean they’re ready to think about it right now.

Finding A Balance

Building on the idea of letting someone know things will get better without pushing too hard, we come to finding a balance.

This isn’t easy, but if you can strike a balance between being positive and realistic, your words can really help.

Saying things like, “Things may be tough right now, but they will get better over time”, can give someone a realistic emotional goal to work towards.

You also need to find a balance in how many questions you ask. Someone in emotional pain doesn’t want to feel like they’re being interrogated.

Asking too many questions can make them feel like you’re being too nosy, and it might bring up bad feelings and make them feel worse. Remember, many upset people aren’t thinking straight and can easily feel overwhelmed.

Try Not To Interrupt

When someone is pouring out their feelings, they might be talking about things they’ve never discussed before. So it’s important to let them breathe and take their time.

You might be the first person to hear these words from them, so it will be hard for them to say some things. Remember that they trust you, so make sure you wait your turn before responding.

Keeping your replies short can help your friend or loved one talk freely without too many interruptions. Every time you talk, you risk slowing down their momentum and making them nervous.

If they slow down, they might think twice about saying something or they might move on from the topic.