How To Stop Being Emotionally Dependent
Emotional dependence is a common problem that affects everyone at some point in their lives. If you struggle with emotional dependency, you may be tempted to blame other people for things they haven’t done.
This can cause problems in relationships and even damage your self-esteem.
Emotional dependency occurs when you become overly attached to another person. When you depend on them, you start to feel bad when they don’t meet your expectations.
The good news is that you can overcome emotional dependence. Here are three steps to help you break emotional dependency.
How To Stop Being Emotionally Dependent
You may be feeling like you need to depend on your emotions to make important decisions. For example, if you feel anxious, you might decide to avoid taking risks.
Or maybe you feel angry, so you lash out at people who annoy you. These behaviors are all signs of emotional dependency. Here are some tips for breaking free:
Step 1: Understand The Problem
The first step is to understand why you become emotionally dependent. Are you afraid of making mistakes? Do you worry about disappointing others? Perhaps you fear rejection.
Whatever the reason, it’s important to identify the root cause. Once you know what triggers emotional dependency, you’ll be able to make better decisions.
You need to understand why you have developed an emotional attachment to others. It could be that you were raised by parents who didn’t know how to handle emotions.
You might also have been exposed to situations where you felt helpless or powerless.
When you experience these types of feelings, it becomes difficult to trust yourself. Your mind starts to believe that you aren’t strong enough to deal with life’s challenges. As a result, you begin to look outside yourself for support.
Step 2: Self-Discovery – Identifying Your Emotions
Once you understand what caused your emotional dependency, you will be able to identify your own emotions. For example, if you grew up feeling helpless, you probably had low self-esteem.
If you experienced powerlessness as a child, you might have felt insecure about your future. These emotions can make you vulnerable to becoming emotionally dependent.
Once you recognize these feelings, you can learn ways to control them. Once you’ve identified the source of your emotional dependency, it’s time to learn how to control them.
You can’t escape emotional dependency until you learn how to cope with negative feelings. In fact, learning how to deal with negative emotions will help you build self-confidence and gain more control over your life.
Step 3: Take Responsibility
It’s easy to blame other people for your own negative emotions. But the truth is, you are responsible for your emotions. Don’t try to hide behind excuses.
Instead, accept full responsibility for your behavior. If you find yourself blaming others, ask yourself why you feel that way. Is there another explanation?
It is important to take responsibility for your actions. If you blame others for causing you pain, you won’t be able to change this behavior. Instead, you should focus on taking care of yourself.
If you want to end emotional dependency, you must first accept responsibility for your own actions. Next, you need to develop new coping skills, so you can manage your emotions better.
Finally, you need to work toward developing healthy relationships.
Step 4: Find Meaning
Emotions aren’t always bad. Sometimes they motivate us to achieve our goals. For instance, when you’re feeling angry, you may want to fight back against those who have wronged you.
Or maybe you feel sad because you lost a loved one. No matter what emotion you experience, it can lead to positive changes in your life.
Use every second of your life to enjoy the moments you have. Make the most out of every opportunity. That’s the attitude you need to adopt when dealing with emotional dependency.
You can learn many lessons from your experiences.
For example, you may realize that certain relationships aren’t worth pursuing. Or perhaps you’ve learned that some behaviors aren’t healthy. By learning from your mistakes, you can avoid repeating them.
Step 5: Take Action
When you recognize that you’re becoming emotionally dependent, take immediate steps to correct the situation.
For example, if your anxiety prevents you from speaking up at work, speak up right away. If you feel anger toward someone, tell him or her exactly what you think.
Taking action doesn’t mean acting rashly; it means doing whatever you can to improve your current situation.
Step 6: Change Your Perspective
If you keep thinking about the past or worrying about the future, you won’t be able to change anything. The best thing you can do is focus on the present moment.
Remind yourself that everything in life has a purpose. What’s happening now is temporary. Your happiness depends on how well you handle the challenges of today.
Your past will never repeat itself. So don’t dwell on the events of yesterday. Instead, look ahead to tomorrow. Focus on the possibilities instead of the problems.
In other words, don’t worry about what happened in the past — but plan for what’s going to happen in the future.
Step 7: Ask For Support
If you feel overwhelmed by your emotions, talk to friends, family members, or professionals. They can provide valuable insight into the issue. You might even consider seeking professional counseling.
Emotional dependency isn’t something that just goes away overnight. But with patience and persistence, you can eventually overcome it. Remember that you’re not alone.
Many people struggle with emotional dependency. And no matter how long you struggle, you’ll get through this phase of your life.
Don’t let setbacks discourage you. Emotional dependency is like a snowball rolling downhill: It gets bigger and harder to control.
But remember that you can always start over again. Just make sure that you pick yourself up after every fall!
Author: Michelle Landeros, LMFT
Michelle Landeros is a Licensed Marriage Family Therapist (LMFT). She is passionate about helping individuals, couples and families thrive.
Last updated: November 29, 2023